


MMMmmmMmmmmmmmmMM

by Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2016-12-27
Packaged: 2018-09-12 13:48:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9074620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti/pseuds/Christian_Buddha_Chips_Against_Spaghetti
Summary: ;)





	

Once upon a time there was a angel named Mercy who worked for Overwatch. Mercy was not just an “angel” she was legit a angel, but no one knew. Mercy came from the heavens, sent by a godness named Leviosa who needed Mercy to buy some bagged milk and bagged milk is only sold in Canada. Mercy made friends and forgot about Leviosa and joined overwatch. Mercy ate cookies and liked to sing children’s songs to sleep.  
One day, Mercy was walking in the Overwatch HQ in the night, and saw a giant cactus who was crying.  
“Why are you crying?” asked Mercy  
“I can’t sleep!” Cried the cactus.  
“Would you like to hear a song?” Mercy replied.  
“OH HELLL NAW!” The cactus kicked Mercy in the stomach and rolled off.  
Mercy sent a glare at the plant, eyes narrowing as she clutched her stomach. She had never seen such a violent plant before. In fact- weren't plants supposed to stay still? Why was it crying? How do cactuses even kick things? There were many mysteries in the world, and those were only a few of them. 

The cactus cackled maniacally, as if it was mocking the woman. "You are no match for me," it taunted, "or my crew."

"Crew?"

As if on cue, a portal appeared in front of her, causing her to stumble backwards. What came out of it caused her to gasp.

It was Voldemort, holding a basket of bananas. He wore a sly grin as he approached her, holding out the bananas in front of her. Her eyes grew wide. She couldn't believe what she was seeing,

"Would you like a banana, young lady?" He asked.  
"Did you...just assume my gender?"

Mercy growled, yanking the basket out of her hands before throwing it onto the floor. The bananas screamed, running away to take shelter or escape. Voldemort looked down at her, displeased with her reaction. However, before he could speak, she had already pinned him against a wall. Furious, she rekt his face, causing him to scream.

"W-what was that?"  
Soldier 76 sat up. He got back down and turned to his side and closed his eyes.  
"mm probably just Mercy beating up some random person in the middle of the night again."  
"DON'T YOU EVER ASSUMMEEE MYY GENNDERRRRR!!"  
Mercy kicked and kicked Voldemorts face over and over again.  
Mercy was breathing fire and spat all da fire on Voldemort.  
Suddenly, he disappeared.  
The cactus clapped slowly  
"I see you are quite a fighter." The cactus chuckled.  
"How do you even clap? You don't have hands," Mercy asked.  
"So many questions.."  
"Tell me, cactus," she growled, kicking the charred voldemort to the side, "what are your intentions?"

It chuckled, walking towards Mercy, but stopping at the ledge of the table. "Do you expect me to be dumb? I'd never spill out our plan so easily."

Laughing again, it began to expand into a humanoid cactus. He kinda looked like an aottg model if you replaced the skin links with pictures of cactuses. Pulling a card out of it's butthole (?), he threw it at the floor.  
"IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL."  
The floor started rising and Mercy went into a stance to try to keep herself up. They were up in the air, in the sky, right above the HQ. The cards were now on one side of a table.  
"Ladies first," said the cactus.  
"Did you juST AS-"  
"JUST FUCKING PLACE A CARD FACE UP."  
Mercy looked confused. She had no cards on her side of the table. What game were they even playing?  
She sighed.  
"Fine, the duels on."  
Mercy took of her shoes and put them in front of her.  
"KA YEH ROU WOKEH SEHROI!"  
Her shoes flew up into the air and they exploded in kittens.  
4 cards fell down to the table. Mercy slowly walked up to the table and took the second card and placed it face up.  
The cactus smirked.  
"You activated my trap card."  
What was a trap card? Mercy didn't know. Jennifer doesnt fucking know either she doesnt play yugioh. Either way, she played along. Cracking her neck, she intensely glanced down at the cards.  
"Yugi wouldn't have done that."  
"Please, you're an amateur at this. No one can beat /me/ in yugioh."  
"Just watch me."  
Mercy lied. SHe didn't know what she was doing.  
Suddenly, Lester(from the Trump vs Hilliary debate)(poor guy) appeared beside her, crossing his arms. He leaned towards her, whispering in her ear.  
"You can do this, I believe in you."  
Mercy flew upwards, transforming into a power ranger with the magic of FRIENDSHIP.  
"I SHALL NOT LOSE. WHY? BECAUSE I HAVE FRIENDS!!!!"  
Mercy suddenly became a star guardian ranger, and her staff magically appeared before her. Her eyes started glowing bright neon brown.  
"I DO NOT STAND ALONE!" Mercy pointed her staff at the cactus. "MY FRIENDS WILL JOIN ME!" Mercy needed help, she didn't know how to play this game.  
The cactus sighed.  
Mercy suddenly became a star guardian ranger, and her staff magically appeared before her. Her eyes started glowing bright neon brown.  
"I DO NOT STAND ALONE!" Mercy pointed her staff at the cactus. "MY FRIENDS WILL JOIN ME!" Mercy needed help, she didn't know how to play this game.  
The cactus sighed.  
The door flew open and hit soldier 76's face.  
"WAKE UP SOJA BOI, WE'RE PLAYING YUGIOH!" Mercy slapped the shit outta soja boi until he passed out.  
"YE WEAK TWIT!" Mercy took the door and slammed it on Soja boi before running out of the room to find someone else.

WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIEDE!!!! CHIRTSAN BUDHA CHIPSS AGAINST SPAHAHUATATAOi!!!


End file.
